ALFVAEN IS EVERYWHERE

words by Michael McAfee
to the tune of "Elvis is Everywhere"
by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper

When I log on, when I log on to the net
I see a little post from Alfvaen in each and every
newsgroup. Lemme tell ya! Welllllllllll

Alfvaen is everywhere, posting on everything
Next to James "Kibo" Parry, Alfvaen's the posting king
When I log on, what do I see
But another post by Aaron V. Humphrey

Alfvaen is everywhere, man, he's in every newsgroup
He's in the comp and the rec, the misc and the sci,
the soc, the talk, the news,
and the alt newsgroups got Alfvaen on 'em, too.
Alfvaen is on alt.callahans
He's on rec.arts.comics.misc
Alfvaen's on alt.music.tmbg
Everyone wants to post like Alfvaen, except for one person
One person!
The evil opposite of Alfvaen, the anti-Alfvaen
Anti-Alfvaen got no Alfvaen in 'im, lemme tell ya

Roger D. Carasso has no Alfvaen in him.

And Alfvaen was on alt.is.too, but he got out, man
He got out! Listen up, you net.people!

Alfvaen is everywhere, posting on everything
Next to James "Kibo" Parry, Alfvaen's the posting king.
When I log on, what do I see
But another post by Aaron V. Humphrey

Y'know, there's a lot of strange newsgroups out there
Lemme tell ya
Who's on talk.bizarre? (Alfvaen!)
Alt.pub.dragons-inn? (Alfvaen!)
And those challenges, those writing challenges
Alfvaen needs words, Alfvaen needs words
Alfvaen Alfvaen Alfvaen Alfvaen Alfvaen Alfvaen
Alfvaen needs words
Ah, the writing Alfvaen
The four-word Alfvaen
The extremely productive Alfvaen
Yeah, when newbies try to post, they don't want to
post like Markian Gooley
None of this alt.non-sequitur stuff
They try for Alfvaen
Alfvaen!
'cause Alfvaen is a perfect poster
We're all moving to a state of Alfvaenness
Why do you think they call then LAN's, anyway?
They're really aLfvAeN's
aLfvAeN's

Alfvaen is everywhere, posting to everything
Next to James "Kibo" Parry, Alfvaen's the posting king
When I log on what do I see
But another post by Aaron V. Humphrey

Alfvaen!
(current album: probably not Bo-Day-Shus)

Michael, the Chaotic
disclaimer: As I have stated before, my client was nowhere near the site at the time of the incident.

Last updated: 1/19/2006

The Den of Ubiquity / Aaron V. Humphrey / alfvaen@gmail.com