"Okay, how do we play this, anyway?"

"Hang on, I'm still reading the rules."

"Jesus Christ, just cut to the chase. We'll figure it out as we go along."

"What's this for?"

"That's the bird."

"What's it for?"

"'Draw a Bird card, and follow the instructions on the card.'"

"Let's see what some of these things say...'Throw the bird back and forth. The first person to drop it loses five points, as does the person who threw it to him.' Does it say how many points we start with?"

"Zero. If you go below that, you're out."

"That sucks. Okay, here's another one: 'Each player removes one feather from the bird. Each player then compares his feather with those of his neighbours; if they are the same length, each gets five points.'"

"Oh, here's a good one: 'Place the bird on the table and spin. If it comes out pointing to you, you get five points. If not, remove the wishbone. You and the player the bird pointed to pull it; the winner gets ten points, the loser loses ten.' Boy, this bird's gonna get destroyed."

"There's more in the box. And you can get more free if you order them."

"Good deal. Okay, here's one: 'Spin the bird; whoever the bird points to must try to eat the entire bird, getting ten points if he succeeds and losing ten if he vomits. Garnish with beak.'"

"Okay, who's first?"

Back to my talk.bizarre page...

The Den of Ubiquity/ Aaron V. Humphrey /