The salesman grinned widely. "First of all, this isn't your standard skunk. Its normal scent has been removed, and can be replaced with any of a number of cartridges--Pine, Lemon, Rose, Begonia--"
"Why abrasive, then?" she interrupted.
"For better retention of the scent," the salesman said. "It won't remain on a smooth surface very well."
"Sounds stupid to me. Why'd you want to abrade something just so it smells nice? Ruin the finish."
The salesman looked around and then said conspiratorially, "Speaking frankly, madam, the real reason is this. This isn't all skunk--it's crossbred with porcupine, too. The abrasive hair on the back is really a reduced form of the quill. And with some of our special cartridges, they can be set up to run right through the quills, which are sharp enough to penetrate human skin..."
Laili began to see what he was getting at. This was all strictly illegal, of course, but that had never stopped her before. "Let me see what kind of selection you've got."
The salesman lifted up the bottom of his sample case and brought out several small ampoules.
Then she smiled as another solution occurred to her.
She musta gone out shopping, he decided. Helluva time to go shopping, when she had all afternoon. He went into the living room and plopped into his favourite chair.
Something pricked his butt as he sat down, and he stood back up again hurriedly. He looked stupidly at the black and white object on the cushion. Cat, he thought. Some stupid cat got in here and laid on my chair and now I've crushed it. He picked it up gingerly and tossed it in the kitchen garbage.
As he did so, he heard the front door open. Must be Laili coming back. How he ever deserved a sweet, caring, considerate wife like her, he'd never know.
Based on the words: Abrasive Skunk Slut Begonia
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The Den of Ubiquity/ Aaron V. Humphrey / firstname.lastname@example.org