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Jokes from Books and Magazines –Catherine Suen’s Class (Sherwood School) |
| Name of Book/Magazine :Buggy Riddles Author :Katy Hall and Lisa Eisenburg Found by :Steven What bug is the best ball player? The spider. It ‘s good at catching flies. Name of Book/Magazine :Highlights Magazine , April 2003 Submitted by :Gabrielle Unser Found by :Shanissa What did the paper say to the scissors? Cut it out! Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , January 2003 Submitted by :Tim Davis Found by :Kyle Wife: “Doctor come quickly! My husband has swallowed a fountain pen.” Doctor:”I’ll be right over. What are you doing in the mean time?” Wife: “ I’m using a pencil.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , January 2003 Submitted by :: Kelsy Dengloe Found by : Ashley First Snake: “I hope I’m not poisonous.” Second Snake: “Why?” First Snake: “I just bit my tongue.” Name of Book/Magazine :Buggy Riddles Submitted by :Katy Hall and Lisa Eienburrg Found by :Ilyas Why do bees hum? They don’t know the word! Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , January 2003 Submitted by : Lagis Kemmer, Found by : Raj Ron: “Which do you thin is more useful, the sun or the moon?” “Why the moon. It shines at night when it’s dark. The sun shines during the day when you don’t need it!” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , February 2003 Submitted by : Chelsea, Ireland, Found by : Samm What did the police dog say to the speeder? Stop in the name of the paw! Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , June 2003 Submitted by :Zeka Colorado Found by : Nav Diner: “Waiter, there’s a bee in my soup.” Waiter: “You said you wanted alphabet soup.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , January 2003 Submitted by :Rika Doederein Found by : Shawn A woman walked into a pizza parlor to order a pizza. The person taking her order asked. “Would you like your pizza cut into six pieces or twelve pieces?” The woman replied, “Six please. My family could never eat twelve.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , March 2003 Submitted by :Teddy Feddoler Found by : Tyra How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a peanut. Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , March 2003 Author’s Name : Kimberly Shipman Found by : Sonya Sammy: Do you think tha anyone can tell the future with cards? Danny: My mother can. She takes one look at my report card and then tells me exactly what will happen when my father gets home. Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , May 2003 Submitted by : Victor Meca Found by : Paige Cody: “Did you hear about the two bed bug that fell in love? Tasha: “No. What happened?” Cody: “They were married in the spring.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , April 2003 Submitted by :NA Found by : Roman Customer: “Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud” Waiter: “It was just ground this morning.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , March 2003 Submitted by : Shamial Almad Found by : Sams Student: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” Teacher: “Of course not.” Student: “Good, because I didn’t do my homework.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , January 2003 Submitted by : Kelly Hawkins, Pennsylvania Found by : Tracy Jamie: “Do you know the four seasons?” Ashley: “Sure, Spring, summer, fall and winter.” Jamie: “No, silly. They’re salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , July 2003 Submitted by : Halie Fritz Found by : Angela Sister: “Where are you going? Mom said not to walk on the kitchen floor unless your feet are clean.” Brother: “My feet are clean. It’s only my shoes that are dirty.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine, December 2003 Submitted by : Chelsea Case Found by : Alex Two bats are in a bat house. One goes out to get some food. He comes back with a huge bump on his head. First bat: “What happened?” Second bat, “You see that tree over thre?” First bat: “Yes.” Second bat;”Well I didn’t.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine, June 2003 Submitted by : Kelsey Dengler Found by : Lucia Diner: “Waiter, there’s a bee in my soup” Waiter: “You said you wanted alphabet soup.” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , November 2000 Author’s Name : Heart Cobrera Found by : Anthony Teacher: “Children , open your geography books. Who can tell me where South Amerca is?” Student: “I can. It’s on page 15” Name of Book/Magazine : Highlights Magazine , February 2004 Submitted by : Libby Clark Found by : Ronnie Why did the skunk cross the road? To get to the other side. |