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PSA 2 - "P.A.R.T."
by J. McDougald.
GRIF AND SIMMONS ARE STANDING NEAR
THE BASE FACING THE CAMERA.
Simmons: Hi, I'm--
DONUT COMES WANDERING INTO THE SHOT
FROM THE RIGHT.
Donut: Hey guys! Check out this awesome
new ringtone I just got for my phone! Now everytime someone calls
me it'll play the new Britney Spears song! Isn't that awesome?
Simmons: No it's really really not...
SIMMONS TURNS TO FACE THE CAMERA.
Simmons: ...but it does tie in neatly
with the theme of this PSA.
Grif: We're starting an organisation
of people who, like us, hate ringtones and the people who use
them.
Simmons: It's called PART, P - A
- R - T. People against ringtones.
Grif: I thought up the name. Pretty
clever isn't it?
Donut: I can hardly wait till someone
calls me so I get to hear the song! I have the volume turned
up extra loud so everyone around me can enjoy it too.
Simmons: Look dumbass, no one else
wants to hear your ringtone. The world is already annoying enough
without being surrounded by that crap.
Grif: I take earplugs with me to
the mall now. It's gotten completely out of control. Something
must be done.
Simmons: That's right. Why do you
even have a cellphone anyways? Is your life sooooo important
that you can't be out of contact for five minutes?
Grif: Yeah, what's up with teenagers
having them? Afraid you'll miss the news that Marcy just dumped
Bobby Bradshaw?
Donut: Marcy dumped Bobby? That bitch!
I'd better call Suzie. (BEEPS AS HE DIALS)
Simmons: How would you guys like
it if we started carrying boom-boxes everywhere playing nothing
but Creed CD's?
Grif: He ain't jokin', he'll do it!
Simmons: You're damn right I would.
No mercy for the 'toners.
Grifs: 'toners, that's good.
Simmons: You like that? Yeah I just
came up with it.
WE HEAR DONUT'S PHONE RING, THEN
DONUTS SQUEELS WITH DELIGHT AS HE LISTENS TO THE TONE FOR A FEW
MOMENTS. GRIF AND SIMMONS RAISE THEIR MACHINE GUNS AS DONUT ANSWERS
THE PHONE.
Donut: Hey Suzie did you hear?
GRIF AND SIMMONS OPEN FIRE.
Donut: Ow! oh! Ee! Suzie I'll have
to call you back! Ah! You bastards! Ow!
DONUTS VOICE FADES OUT AND THE TWO
RED MARINES STOP FIRING.
Simmons: Yeah keep running 'toner
scum!
Grif: We'll go get him with the Warthog
later.
Simmons: Pick him up or run him over?
Grif: Well, let's just go with whatever
we're feeling at the time.
SARGE WALKS INTO THE SHOT. AT FIRST
HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING, BUT LOOKS DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA THEN
BACK TO THE TWO SOLDIERS.
Sarge: What are you complaining about
this week ladies? They don't make the color uh lipstick that
goes with your helmet? Single ply toilet paper? Men that don't
respect you the next morning? Panties that-- oh hold on.
SARGE IS CUT OFF AS HIS PHONE RINGS,
IT'S A RINGTONE OF THE 'BONANZA' TV SHOW THEME. SARGE TURNS TOWARDS
THE CAMERA AND SO DOESN'T SEE GRIF AND SIMMONS RELOADING THEIR
WEAPONS.
FADE TO BLACK.
Sarge: (VOICE OVER) Hello? Oh hello
Donut, how's it goin'? Marcy dumped Bobby? No!
ALL WE HEAR IS GUNFIRE AS THE SOUND
FADES OUT. JUST BEFORE THE END A RINGTONE BEGINS TO PLAY.
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