A trucker picks up a hitchhiker
who climbs up in the cab
and notices a monkey on the
dashboard. After a few miles
he asks the driver what the
monkey is for.
The driver says "I'll show you"
and with that he hits the
monkey with the back of his
hand, sending the poor creature
rolling across the dash.
The monkey goes down between the
drivers legs, unzips his
pants, pulls out his unit
and proceeds to give the trucker head.
When finished ,the monkey
pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up,
puts everything back and
jumps back up on the dashboard.
"See that" said the trucker.
The man said "Yeah".
The trucker ask the man "You want
to try it?"
The man said "OK, but don't
hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"
Buckwheat and Darla were in school,
and the teacher asks Darla: "How do
you spell 'dumb'?"
Darla says "d-u-m-b, dumb"
The teacher says, "very good, now
use it in a sentence."
She says "Buckwheat is dumb" .
Now spell "stupid".
Darla says "s-t-u-p-i-d, stupid".
The teacher says, "very good, now
use it in a sentence.
Darla says "Buckwheat is stupid."
When the teacher calls on Buckwheat
and says "Buckwheat, spell
dictate."
Buckwheat stands and says "d-i-c-t-a-t-e,
dictate".
The teacher says, "very good,
now use it in a sentence."
"I may be dumb, and I may be stupid,
but Darla says my dictate good!"
Subject: The Golfers
Four married guys go golfing over the weekend
and on Sunday during
the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:
First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to
do to be able to come
out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my
wife that I will paint
every room in the house next weekend."
Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise
my wife that I will
build her a new deck for the pool."
Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had
to promise my wife
that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to play the hole when they realized
that the fourth guy
has not said a word, so one of them asks him,
"You haven't said
anything about what you had to do to be able
to come golfing this weekend.
What's the deal?"
Fourth Guy: "That's easy! I just set my
alarm for 5:30 a.m. When it
goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife
a poke and say, "Golf
Course or Intercourse?" and she says, 'Wear your
sweater.'
