Michael

Dear Marion,

    Your email was referred to me by the president of our temple. I am Michael Hayashi, one of two ministers serving Southern Alberta. I am specifically a Jodo Shinshu school devotee.

    I see no reason not to continue on with both practices; they seem to be working on at least some level. I would fear anyone who tells you that you cannot at least try the various flavors of the teaching that are out there.

    All practice is centred on getting you to an experience; some will suit you and some will not depending on your character, life stage, even, sometimes, mood. Do not worry about it. It is expected that your relation to the Buddhist teaching will change and grow.

    Our founder, Shinran Shonin, encouraged people to consult with other teachers, if they had any doubts about the Jodo Shinshu teaching. I guess the ultimate statement on his position is "I, Shinran, do not have a single disciple." Since we follow a highly introspective form of the Buddhist teaching, the real relationship that we seek to establish is solely between Amida and ourselves. There can be no discipleship between Jodo Shinshu followers. There is no human who acts as an intermediary between us and Amida. Other people, even teachers, can at best be seen as ones who have assisted us, challenged us, accepted us and encouraged us to grow.

    That is a long way of saying your path is your own. The teachings are there as guides. As you follow any of the Buddhist paths, you are essentially discovering new aspects to yourself. You are free to wander a little; seek out new aspects of the teaching, as you take this internal journey. No one can tell you whether to meditate or not, or whether to recite the name of Amida or not. It is very difficult to write in a second language, so there may be some things that I gleaned from your letter that you did not intend to say. Having offered this as an apology of sorts, I would like to offer some of my thoughts on Amida Buddha and practice in Jodo Shinshu. I should point out to you that, although our school makes much of a vocalized observance, the nembutsu is not so much a thing to say; as a tool of sorts, to guide us on an inner search.

    Jodo Shinshu is certainly devotional, but it is less centred on a figure; rather the symbol of Amida for me, quickly becomes representative of all of the people who have contributed to making my life wonderful. In some of your letter, I got the sense that Amida had taken on too much of a "God" like existence for you. I often call Amida the life force just to break myself out of my own tendency to think of him like a person. This thing (for lack of a better indicator) is much larger than our ability to conceive of it. Amida is a symbol of all of the love and caring that has supported me in the past and will carry me on into the future. As such, it ( once again for lack of a better indicator) is seen to be an other power.

    I rather liked your explanation of the sense of other power in your practice. I rather liked hearing of this aspect of zazen practice. The other as I conceive of it manifests itself as we seek to let go of the reigns so to say. I often think of "other" though in the sense that it is the others in my life that were often the source of my inspiration, guidance and acceptance. They were the ones that, in a sense, allowed me to, or otherwise encouraged me to, become (for better, or worse) the person that I have become right now.

    The practice is saying the nembutsu and going on the inner search it leads you on. That is about it. Pretty simple, huh?

    Our life becomes the source of the teachings. In Jodo Shinshu, you will not find instructional booklets or other guidelines to be followed. We do publish books though; but they can only be reflections on one's personal interaction with the teachings. No one says that we each have to have similar experiences as we interact with the teachings. The books are of value to us only as they provide fuel for our own internal search. Later I will be writing down some publication data on some of the books that I have found to be nourishing to me.

    The introspective nature of our path naturally leads to gratitude. As we come to know ourselves better; our faults and foibles and our brilliant moments of idealism and caring, we realize that in spite of all that has gone on we have been constantly embraced by a loving force that we call Amida. When we gather at temples, we sing songs, chant shorter sutras and engage in a Dharma talk/ discussion as a typical observance of our gratitude. We are grateful to Amida Buddha as a scriptural personage. We are grateful for the myriad of teachings that make up the Buddhist tradition. We are grateful to all those who have led us to the teachings. We are grateful to all of the beings around us now who put up with us, care for us and accept us. Because they are the ones who make our lives worth living.

    Jodo Shinshu books are not often readily available. They tend to be published by smaller companies and in smaller runs than more commercially viable books. These are some of the books that have been especially helpful to me. I hope that you will be able to find some of them. It would also be good for you to contact the International Association for Shin Buddhist Studies. They are more familiar with Shinshu groups in Europe and may be able to put you in contact with some people in your area.

    The universe is an amazing and wonderful place. Please do continue on in your explorations.

        Namuamidabutsu,

        Michael Hayashi