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I posted this in February 2005 with thoughts of Valentine's Day. This may seem rather stark at first but if you stay with it you'll get a profound message from this excerpt from a marvelous book.
Viktor E. Frankl from Man’s Search for Meaning
Frankl, a holocaust survivor, describes the despicable way that concentration camp prisoners were treated. However in describing one very hellish morning march to a work-site, Frankl found some answers to his "search for meaning" from these torturous conditions that lead him to capture these thoughts on true love:
We stumbled on in the darkness, over big stones and through large puddles, along the one road leading from the camp. The accompanying guards kept shouting at us and driving us with the butts of their rifles. Anyone with very sore feet supported himself on his neighbor’s arm. Hardly a word was spoken; the icy wind did not encourage us to talk. Hiding his mouth behind his upturned collar, the man marching next to me whispered suddenly: "If our wives could see us now! I do hope they are better off in their camps and don’t know what is happening to us."
That brought thoughts of my own wife to mind. And as we stumbled on for miles, slipping on icy spots, supporting each other time and again, dragging one another up and onward, nothing was said, but we both knew: each of us was thinking of his wife. Occasionally I looked at the sky, where the stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind a dark bank of clouds. But my mind clung to my wife’s image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.
A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which [humans] can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love…
In front of me a man stumbled and those following fell on top of him. The guard rushed over and used a whip on them all…but soon my soul found its way back … and I resumed talk with my loved one: I asked her questions, and she answered; she questioned me in return, and I answered…
I did not know whether my wife was alive, and I had no means of finding out (during all my prison live there was no outgoing or incoming mail); but at that moment it ceased to matter. There was no need for me to know; nothing could touch the strength of my love, my thoughts, and the image of my beloved. Had I known then that my wife was dead, I think that I would still have given myself, undisturbed by that knowledge, to the contemplation of her image, and that my mental conversation with her would have been just as satisfying. "Set me like a seal upon they heart, love is as strong as death."
(Frankl, Vickor E. Man's search for meaning. Washington Square Press, New York, 1984. pp 56-58)
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There is no doubt that humor abounds within each and every school. Colleagues and students say and do some very funny things. And they happen all the time. Find a way to capture and share these occurrences as a celebration of all that is right about the place you in which you teach. Here’s one of mine:
Our school had been the beneficiaries of some tremendous community support that resulted in a new playground on our school grounds. In keeping with the thorough and caring methods we use to ensure student safety and enjoyment, we decided to take the kids out to the new playground in small groups.
I was working with a class of grade two students giving them time to learn about their new play space through explorations, demonstrations and discussion. However, one young man was a little too busy during our time together. Not only was he distracted but he was also doing some things that just weren't very safe. After a few warnings I quietly asked him to take a short time out near the playground fence while the other students continued to play.
After a couple of minutes I walked over to the boy and assumed my best lecturing posture. I delivered a particularly emphatic set of reasons about his need to be more careful. Through my little speech, this usually over-energetic fellow remained enraptured; his eyes transfixed upon my face.
I wrapped up my reminders and asked if he understood. He nodded his approval and I gestured him toward to the playground equipment. He turned away, but stopped and glanced back to share, "Mr. Gibson you have a big hair growing out your nose!"
Off he went innocent and oblivious to the hilarity.
There I stood, reminded of the joys of teaching as I contemplated his wonderfulness…and the location of my little scissors.
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When I think of Thanksgiving I am reminded of the story of the young lady, who after having a falling out with her parents, returned to the family fold one year at Thanksgiving.
As happens in the period of adolescence and young adulthood, the young lady grew apart from her family. Issues of independence and responsibility caused conflict but the worst was the young lady’s questioning of some of the family traditions and values. The young lady’s family made a large effort every year to put on quite a Thanksgiving feast for a large group – with much ado about who would bring different food items and beverages. In her childhood, the young lady enjoyed the superficial nature of the event but as years passed she began to question its value because of the way the event seemed to contradict the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Was her mother’s stress over the candied yams really in tune with Thanksgiving? Why did she feel hollow when her father and uncles seemed to be more concerned about the football game or who had purchased the most expensive wine?
As she left for University, all of this and more led the young lady to choose to avoid the family events, especially Thanksgiving. However, after several years of growth and reflection the young lady changed her thinking. She realized that she could make better choices about how to deal with these issues. She called her parents and let them know that she would be coming to the annual Thanksgiving gathering and would be bringing some gifts. Her parents were pleased. On Thanksgiving Day the young lady arrived with three friends; one an unwed mother with her infant son, as well an older, rather unkempt, unemployed local of some disrepute. The first thing the young lady did was set places for her guests. Next she went about introductions and mingling.
The gathering became an awkward and stilted affair. The preparation of the food and the attention to the television were welcome distractions from the uncomfortable feelings. When it came time to be seated for the meal, the young lady asked for the attention of her family. She announced that she had taken time to think about the true meaning of family and Thanksgiving and had returned to the family fold with friends she knew her family would embrace. And then she said grace. "Dear Lord, let us remember the things for which we should truly be thankful. Amen"
Each year since that time the family has always had extra food and places for the young lady’s guests, and given thanks for her reminder about the way we must choose to be better people, especially at Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
He drew a circle that shut me out –
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in! Edwin Markham
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One of the most important aspects of wellness involves the way we deal with our choices. When it comes to being well as a person and a teacher, we must strive for optimal choices especially when it comes to the way our choices affect our relationships with others. One way to think of the best choices in relationship building is to think of the difference between the footprints on the moon and footprints we create here on earth.
The astronauts of the Apollo missions of the late 1960’s and early 1970’s left indelible footprints that will last for millions of years on the lunar surface. Their footprints are symbols of the massive coordination of scientific and political resources; hugely noteworthy accomplishments. However the impressions on the lunar surface exist in an environment with very few dynamic features.
In contrast, think of walking along a beach or sandy shore here on earth. We may leave footprints in the sand but within a brief time water or wind may wipe away these imprints. The earth’s surface is teeming with conditions that make it difficult to create lasting footprints.
This metaphor is useful in thinking of the choices we make in dealing with family, students, friends, new acquaintances and colleagues. When it comes to human relationships we do not live in a moon-like atmosphere. We can not take a simple step and leave a gentle and lasting footprint. On the contrary, human interaction is like the dynamics of our earth, and hence we have to work diligently to leave our lasting impressions. As teachers, our most important work is to create the type of impressions that will be positive, responsible, and meaningful to the wellness landscape of the people with whom we interact now and well into the future.
Take the two images of footprints with you as you make choices in pursuit of higher levels of personal and professional wellness. Avoid the kind of choices that affect a relationship mostly because they are an indelible stamp like the footprints on the austere lunar surface. Neither should you be satisfied with a legacy that leaves little or no positive impact. Choose to constantly create genuine impressions that embrace your ever-changing human ecosystem. Choose to be well and to support the wellness of others.
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Dr. Donald Ardell is one of the leading "wellness" gurus in North America and has been for more than three decades. His life’s work is his response to creating a more positive focus in health promotion. Dr. Ardell’s early years in the medical profession led him away from the usual model of health care that tends to focus on illness and disease. Ardell, like many others in the area of wellness study and promotion is a strong advocate of healthy lifestyle through preventative activities.
At www.seekwellness.com, Ardell offers very good resources for persons interested in improving their wellness or maintaining a high level of wellness. In a recent article in the "Wellness in the Headlines (Don’s Report to the World)" section of his site, Ardell featured some of the work of Jeff Haebig – aka the "Boogie Man". Haebig’s "BrainBOOGIE" is a form of Brain Gym, focusing on activities designed to make learning more comprehensive using principles derived from brain based learning and research. It’s worth a look both for personal enlightenment and for a resource to help kids be healthier.
In an archived article from April 1, 2004, Ardell lends his editorial responses to wellness statements that Haebig uses when encouraging debate amongst students who are formulating lifestyle choices. While all the statements were thought provoking and some educationally provocative, there were two statements upon which I believe every teacher should reflect. I believe both statements must be answered with a resounding YES by every teacher who believes in the wellness of all students.
The first of the two areas I urge you to consider is the type of foods we sell in schools. Haebig and Ardell both believe that schools should not be vending pop or candy to their students. I completely agree with Ardell that this is "a modest first step to deal with childhood obesity and to shape healthier nutritional patterns." I feel that all teachers must promote policy and procedures to enforce healthy nutritional choices in our schools.
The other statement I have chosen to highlight is a novel, yet wonderful encourager toward creating a balance with student achievement and healthy growth. Haebig and Ardell both believe that "excellent physical fitness should be a requirement that all students meet for being on the honor roll." My interpretation of this point would read "All students on the honor roll must demonstrate a variety of high level individual proficiencies in daily active living". This would allow some leeway for persons with varying physical and mental abilities while insisting that physical well-being is part of student honors expectations.
While Haebig’s statements delve into many other areas of wellness and lifestyles (see http://www.seekwellness.com/wellness/reports/2004-04-01.htm ) there are two assertions which encourage teachers to offer significant wellness guidance for healthier youth. . Both of these statements get unequivocal support from no less of a wellness expert than Dr. Donald Ardell. First, school staff must embrace and advocate the strongest possible resistance to unhealthy foods and drinks being sold in the school. Second, educators must also set lofty and well-rounded expectations for honor students by requiring all honors students to demonstrate proficiencies in daily active living. Anything less would mean that educators are not providing their best wellness guidance to their students.
Kevin
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We have all seen copies of inspirational stories about the special bond that can exist between students and teachers. Some take on a fairly tale quality to support the message of teachers going the extra distance for kids. Some might seem like urban myths because they are suspiciously similar and rather vague where ever they are found. There is one, however, that I feel truly captures the indomitable spirit of teacher wellness because of its virtue and authenticity. While I am uncertain as to its formal title, I use the prime quote from the story - "Thank you for correcting me, sister!"
If you haven't seen this true story I urge you to read the short essay that was written by a nun from Minnesota. The story can be found at:
http://ca.geocities.com/grovervk73/thoughts/treasure.htmor
http://inspirationalstories.com/0/73.htmlNotes that accompany the "Thank you for correcting me, sister!" story at other on-line sources indicate that it can also be found in the book Chicken Soup for the Soul. While the article can be found in many places it is uncommonly and remarkably exact in its duplication. Unfortunately the article has been used as an email chain letter of fortune (e.g. "Pass this on immediately to 10 persons in your address book and you will be guaranteed good luck"). It is reported on several sites that the author, Sister Mrosia [also spelled Mrosla in some places], is unsettled by the use of her article within the chain letter, preferring to let the story stand on its own.
KG
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It was the fall of 1989 and the smile that was to come to us wasn’t just that of good fortune. It was the beaming smile and robust laughter that erupted from the truly unique young man who came to be part of our football program. You may have seen the movie Radio, or enjoyed the Jake Porter Story, or even been inspired by the athletic partnership of Rick and Dick Hoyt, but for my heart and for my teaching wellness there is no greater sentiment than when I recall Lonnie.
Lonnie is a first nation’s member near our town. Back in the fall of 1989 Lonnie had been out of school for quite some time. He was the victim of several circumstances that left him as an outsider in the world within we live, teach or coach. Ancestry, family responsibilities, and especially his size created huge obstacles for Lonnie. I still don’t know the exact nature of the condition, but I suspect Lonnie’s super-sized body was the result of glandular and hormonal imbalance. At just seventeen years of age he towered above most and outweighed all.
Good fortune would have it that intervention on his behalf resulted in his enrollment at the high school where I coached football. He was very fortunate to be placed in a special program with the great Glen Miller, a teacher/counselor in the very best sense of the words. Glen recognized that there was probably only one extra-curricular activity in which Lonnie would have any chance to find success; the football team.
And so it was that, equipped with specially sized equipment, including the specially ordered, preposterously large size 8 helmet, Lonnie began to practice with the team. The only thing bigger than that helmet was his heart. I can only imagine the courage it must have taken. To most people, it would not seem that big a deal, but to Lonnie, and the lifestyle he had experienced, it was a gargantuan shift.
The season progressed and Lonnie became a valued and contributing member of the team. He became one of our ultimate "program players" – the kids who got more from football than they are likely to contribute. He wasn't always on time for practices. Sometimes he didn’t make it to practice at all but he kept at it. Best of all Lonnie was truly a part of the team; a valued team mate a player who contributed to the success of his team.
Of the myriad memories from that great season of football there are two occurrences that always bring a smile to my face and a mist to my reminiscing eyes. The first was as simple as it was powerful. Glen Miller brought it to our attention one day before practice. Glen, with a piece of loose-leaf paper in hand, sought out the coaches as we met to prepare for practice. The paper contained just a few lines of rudimentary printing on which Lonnie had completed a writing assignment. The assignment, Glen explained, was for his students to write about something very important in their life. While I can not recall the exact words I do know that Lonnie’s submission was sublime. In the brief and elementary sentences he wrote Lonnie described that he played football and he knew that he was part of a team because he got to ride the bus to the games. Lonnie was enamored with his sense of belonging.
The other memory is from the post game celebration when we won our league championship that year. It was our tradition to take lots of video, not just of the game action, but of many other moments that capture the spirit of events that happen through a season. So it was that the video camera was panning the players in the pandemonium of the post- game celebration. Amid the gyrating, sweaty, shouting, singing, joyous tumult stood Lonnie with that smile. Just beaming and taking it in. Talk about wellness, to this day that smile and his joy-filled laughter sparkles in my memory.
Not long ago I saw him again in a local grocery store and though his young man’s body was ravaged by his medical challenges - there was the smile. A smile worth the world because it wasn’t just Lonnie’s smile, it was the smile of good fortune; the undeniable richness and wealth that comes from being blessed by having had the inestimable fortune to be a part of the life of a young man as special as Lonnie.
For more inspirational moments of youth in sport see:
Radio – for more info on James Robert (Radio) Kennedy and the movie "Radio" go to
http://www.chasingthefrog.com/reelfaces/radio.phpThe Jake Porter Story – for more information on Jake Porter go to
http://www.herald-dispatch.com/jakeporter/JakePorter.htmRick and Dick Hoyt – for more information on Dick and Rick Hoyt go to
http://www.teamhoyt.com
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A letter to a colleague on the value of family in teaching
(Sometimes there is a need to change names, dates and places in a public posting to ensure confidentiality and respect privacy. In this case there have been very few changes. For the most part this letter is verbatim to the one sent to a colleague. There is no need to change things because the people spoken of in this letter already know how much I care and how much we mean to each other's wellness.)
To: A valued colleague
I want to thank you for all the work you did with our team this year. I know that you are at a crossroads in terms of your involvement with the team.
I think I have some understanding of the way you feel pulled in many directions, with the most important, and rightly so, being your family. In the early part of our relationship and the first years of our marriage, I often had to take stock on where our team fit into the perspective of my love and commitment to Sue and our family. This tension between commitments to non-family involvement occurs for me every year, and will continue as long as I choose to volunteer my time as a coach. My most vivid memory of this type of situation was when Sue was pregnant for the second time (she had miscarried just a few months earlier). It was the fall of '89 and our team seemed a fair distance from competing in the top echelon of our league; an echelon of competitiveness and teamwork to which we were accustomed. The worst part was that Sue was having a troubling pregnancy; one that led her to be hospitalized on a couple of occasions. The hectic world of teaching and coaching was cast into its proper perspective of minimal importance compared to family.
During one of the first of Sue's doctor-ordered stays in the hospital, we were scheduled to go to Rocky Mountain House for the semi-final game of our league playoffs. Rocky had finished first in the league with a very good team. We had just snuck in for fourth place. I felt that the only place I should be other than at school was at the hospital at Sue's side. But Sue had watched how hard we had worked all year long, and how we believed we could be better. She had been a large part of our tradition of success. With just a few words she reminded me that our doctors were satisfied with the course of treatment. My wonderful wife assured me that she was going to be fine, she believed in me and our team, and knew, that for that moment, the best place for me was to be with the team.
Well, on the long lonely ride to Rocky (I took my own vehicle in case I had to leave and get back to Sue before the end of the game) I could have written a couple of dozen country songs. Sue was right though. We played a terrific game, perhaps one of the most memorable so far in my coaching days. Not only were we successful in a fantastic, down-to-the-wire game, we also went on to win the league championship against LTCHS (Red Deer) a few days later. As I had done after the Rocky game, I made a quick get away from Red Deer to be with Sue, who was still in the hospital. I arrived with the good news of our victory and I'll never forget the look on her face when fellow coach, Don Loov, walked into the hospital room a few minutes later. He was carrying the championship trophy. He had diverted the bus from the usual route home to let Sue and me know the team was thinking about us.
I hope that you can find value in this story as you make your decision. It is not meant to make you feel that there is a deeper meaning to being involved with our team. Rather, it is to let you know, that I know that you will do what is right for you and your family. May you always have the blessing of being challenged to seek the balance in your life that includes what is best for your marriage and your passion for coaching. Know that whatever direction you choose you are a valued friend and colleague. I am thankful for the chance to work with you and draw energy from your enthusiasm and compassion for students and players.
Choose the be well my friend,
Kevin
(Postscript - With the birth of our first son Devin in May 1990, Sue's at-risk pregnancy came to a lovely and reasonably healthy conclusion.)
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If I had a class of thirteen grade ones…
On a recent school day I found myself with an absolute delight. A class of thirteen wonderful, joyful, engaged grade one learners. We were all thoroughly absorbed in our physical education lesson. I did not have to pinch myself. It wasn’t a dream. Alas, the blissful nature of this unusually low student teacher ratio was an anomaly. This grade one class had several absent students. Nevertheless, on this day we were enjoying an idyllic situation and I couldn’t help but think of the issue of class size.
On this day, having just thirteen students made it possible for everyone to feel as though they could enjoy each other in the most positive way. Not that there were some type of class hellions away. On the contrary, the kids who were absent were very good students. This class of thirteen students was blissful because the teaching and learning moments were unimpeded by some of the overcrowded clutter that can hinder the best learning. There was the fulfillment that comes from the certainty that every child was having an optimal learning experience in a caring and safe environment.
I feel blessed to be part of a school where we have had the resources to fulfill a top priority – the establishment and maintenance of appropriate class sizes. This has been the highest priority at our kindergarten to grade four school for the last five years. There currently exists even more reason for optimism because of the recent Alberta Learning Commission recommendations that included educationally sound targets. One recommendation is to have seventeen students as the maximum K-3 class size average within a school division. This recommendation is welcome after many years of teachers and parents advocating for proper funding to ensure the best class sizes.
There are many dimensions to the class size debate. The most difficult aspect is that if you do not have reasonable funding you can not create the most appropriate class groupings. Those who would oppose class size as a huge factor in schools, especially primary classrooms, would point to research that indicates that student achievement does not appear to be negatively affected by class size until class sizes are bigger than about thirty three students. Any primary teacher or school administrator can tell you that this research finding is very misleading. Policy makers who point to this type of research are using it as a thinly veiled disguise for economic restraint. The most direct result of this type of policy is the decreased costs of having fewer teachers. After twenty years in elementary schools as a teacher and administrator, I know that the reality of this thinking is simple but harsh. While there are costs to be saved, large class sizes adversely affect the opportunity for kids to do their best. Large classes make it difficult for students and parents to feel good about the learning, and the caring and safety within the school environment. Unacceptably large class sizes have a deleterious effect on teacher wellness. That is why, in Alberta at least, the recent news of reduced class size targets is warmly embraced.
There is another reason for optimism. Within the debate on class size there has arisen the reminder that ‘class chemistry’ or ‘class composition’ can be just as important, if not more so, than class size. Just ask the teacher who has 'only' sixteen students yet works tirelessly (at times in vain) to properly program for all students because there may be a disproportionately high number of kids with intense educational needs. The Alberta Learning Commission recommendations, and a report within the school division in which I teach, seems to have given the class complexity factor its due consideration. It is essential to the learning needs of students and the wellness of the school staff that both factors, class size and class chemistry, are given proper consideration when resources are allocated.
It may be only a dream to think that public education, fraught as it is with fiscal restraint, could support a situation as fulfilling as the day I had with my thirteen grade one kids. It would be a huge shift, indeed, were the majority of classrooms to have more open space than the space consumed by students and desks. Recent progress in Alberta does seem to offer hopeful news that moves us closer to our dream.
Choose to be well,
Kevin
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Hooray for our support staff colleagues!
With the many gifts we receive each year at Christmas time, teachers always remember one of the most treasured gifts within our profession. If you are like me, the Holiday Season is just one more chance to show how we are always thankful for the indispensable role, which support staff and paraprofessionals play in supporting kids and teachers. They are a gift to our wellness.
From the tireless efforts of teacher assistants to the resource support of library assistants, from the unceasing chores of custodians to the galvanizing and invaluable services of the school secretary, we are thankful.
The bond between teacher and teacher assistant, especially within a special needs or kindergarten setting, can be as powerful and influential as any relationship within the work world. At its best, the teacher/TA connection is a synergy of the most powerful kind. Working together with common purpose, to benefit students, has to be purpose of the highest order.
Next to parents, our custodians have the most difficult job in the world, the daunting task of always having to clean up after children. What more needs to be said in appreciation of the keepers of school cleanliness.
Let’s face it, the real boss at most schools is the secretary.
Librarians and library assistants are the gatekeepers of the most important resource within any school, especially elementary schools, the BOOKS.
These colleagues are often the first to take a hit when the budgets are shrinking and regardless of the economic climate, they remain undervalued. So this Christmas we raise a cheer (and maybe even a few cups of cheer) of heartfelt thanks for the gifts of our support staff colleagues. They are integral to our wellness.
Happy Holidays!
K
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Know your contract and benefits
In my position as a school administrator, staff members often ask me about their options when it comes to taking a day off. I am also asked for interpretations of other clauses within our collective bargaining agreement. These inquiries usually come at a time when there is duress or even crisis for one of my colleagues. Questions will also arise about other areas of importance that are important for any employee; benefits and coverage, policies and procedures, or an employee assistance program (EAP).
While it would be a challenging task to be fully conversant in these areas and still maintain balance in all the other areas of their home and work life, it would be safe to say that many of my colleagues are not as familiar as they should be with the inner workings of their collective bargaining agreement or school division policy and procedures designed to support their wellness. You can help yourself greatly by being proactive with your knowledge of your employee/employeer agreements.
You should:
 | take a few minutes each year to review your collective agreement, |
| regularly attend association meetings; not just the ones that ratify an agreement, but the meetings that help formulate the items which will be bargained, |
| review information from your benefit provider and understand your benefit plan on a yearly basis, |
| ensure you have an updated list of contacts within your division's central administration and your professional association or union, |
| review your employee assistance program (EAP). (If your division does not currently have an EAP, you should get involved in a process to establish one for you and your colleagues.) |
Having a working knowledge of the areas noted above, can be tremendously reassuring during difficult times. Just like your wellness, the knowledge of information on your employee/employer agreements is your personal responsibility.
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It's student progress report time again and the hectic pace of school routine takes on an even greater load.
I have often thought of our professional counterparts in the accounting professions when they face tax season as a comparative for our "report card season". We are both faced with some very large volumes of data to crunch, very high expectations from the ones we serve, the imperative for accuracy, and rather imposing deadlines. To top it all off, we likely face the same daunting task where we must gently but honestly deliver tough news to those, some of whom may carry a sense of false hope, are hoping for better than they can expect.
The essential part of all of this is our need to remember our wellness. I have a brother-in-law in accounting and each year at the end of April he emerges from a cocoon of work and stress having once again completed his busy tax season. He, like many of his colleagues, almost always takes some sort of well deserved break or even a vacation.
Take a tip from our friends in accounting. After a busy session with report cards, give yourself, your loved ones, your friends, even your pets, a much earned break to recharge your wellness levels.
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Every day, the ball goes in the hole
I just love the game of golf and have the great fortune to be able to get great value and enjoyment as a member of my local golf club.
So it was that I found myself in a rather enviable position during our annual local "Men's Open" this past summer. Having hit a tee shot very close to the pin on one of the par three holes early in the day, I had qualified for a draw. When my name was one of the four drawn I found out that I had a chance to shoot for $1 Million dollars (Well actually a cool half mill. The other half million would be split between local charity, the other three draw winners and even some left over for all of the registered participants in the Men's Open tourney.)
For many people this may have caused nervousness and anxiety, but strangely, I felt rather calm and confident. I started visualizing and thinking very positively. I had about 45 minutes before the actual hole-on-one shot would take place. If someone asked me about my chances, I replied only in the positive like, "I'm gonna put it in the hole!" With a few minutes left I took my trusty seven iron and hit a few practice shots then walked out to the spot on the 18th fairway about 155 yards away from the hole. My name was drawn first and after a bit of idle chit chat and some more visualizing, I teed the ball, stepped up and put the exact swing on the ball that I had practiced. The ball floated with a little movement from right to left, aided by the prevailing breeze. I knew I had struck a shot that wasn't just well directed but had the right distance.
There were about 70 people watching from behind the green and on the clubhouse deck. I had visualized how the celebration would play out. When I got a chance to watch the video later (a measure that has to be followed to substantiate a hole-in-one for insurance purposes) I once again saw things just as I had visualized them. The ball landed just to the right and behind the pin, caught the downslope, and spun back toward the hole. It rolled directly at the middle of the cup...and stopped about one inch short.
I can't say I wasn't disappointed but I certainly wasn't as disappointed as a lot of my fellow golfers and the spectators. If there was any disappointment though it stemmed from the fact that I was so confident that the ball was going to go in the hole.
A lot of people asked me in the following hours and days about the incident and wondered how I handled such a close call at winning a small fortune. My own family road an emotional roller coaster when they relived the narrow miss (my middle son was actually quite upset with me because, in his mind, the hole-in-one would surely have meant a new computer). My answer was easy and honest. Metaphorically speaking the ball goes in the hole every day for me. I have a marvelous wife and fantastic kids. I have the love and joy of all my other family members and many good friends. I am blessed with my health and a job that serves a fulfilling purpose. Five hundred thousand bucks would be nice, but if you truly want wellness, there is so much more that counts.
I hope that for you too, every day, the ball goes in the hole.
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The following posting was an item I wrote for two wonderful student teachers upon the completion of their practicum at our school.
DOs AND DON’Ts OF BEGINNING TEACHING1. Do approach every day as if it were a gift. You are working with miracles called children.
2. Do accept jelly beans with a lot of pocket fuzz - Don’t eat them.
3. Do drink a lot of water.
4. Do find positive ways to touch and be touched by children lives - Don’t forget to wash your hands very often.
5. Don’t ever give up.
6. Don’t forget the Turkish proverb - "Those who gossip to you, gossip about you."
7. Do take time for yourself.
8. Do help a student who is feeling sick - Don’t stand directly in front of the student.
9. Do take risks - Don’t forget to laugh - probably at yourself.
10. Don’t leave fish in the classroom aquarium over the summer.
11. Do share your knowledge and wisdom. Don’t share your colds and flu.
12. Don’t forget to say, "I don’t know." - Do say, " but I will find out."
13. Do show courage when acting on problems - Don’t forget that patience is a virtue.
14. Do practice H.A.L.T - Avoid making decisions when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.
It was that blissful time for parents. The time in the evening after baths and books and drinks of water, but just before a child falls into slumber. I peeked into my five-year-old child’s bedroom As I watched and listened, it was a moment of deep reflection for me as a parent and a teacher. While I stood outside the door, I realized that no mater how much I wanted to know about what was going on in that little one’s mind, the best I could do was settle for a glimpse.
It is always challenging to navigate the "humanscape" of relationship around me. I never fully comprehend the effect my words and actions have on my children, my spouse, my students, and my colleagues.
Did I forget a promise? Say too little? Say too much? Are my expectations clear and reasonable? So many dimensions to human interaction, and for my resting child, and all the children I teach, the best I can hope for is the brief glimpses, a metaphorical peek in the door.
I must remember not to watch too long, as I may dilute the purity of what I see and feel. I may catch a glimpse of things I will misinterpret. Yet, what if the glimpse is too short or mistimed? I may miss a treasured moment of true character. Worse yet, what if I have too many doors in which to look? A class that is too large and not enough time to get to know all of the students. The best I can hope for is the time – the right time – to peek into each door.
I have to be careful not to intrude on the wonder of the private world I am seeking to observe. It exists for its own fulfillment. It may be difficult but I must remember that I am not always welcome – sometimes I am an intruder no matter how well intentioned I may be. In my pursuit of personal connection I have to strike a balance between my aspirations to be involved and the importance of privacy and individuality for others. The best I can hope for is an unobtrusive and welcome chance to glance.
And as time goes on, I may find doors that are closed or even locked. Then what? The best I can hope for is a chance to re-open the door just a crack.
I must also remind myself to give others the chance to look in through my door. Will they see the real me? Will I have taken enough time to pause and get to know myself? To get the right sense of those I am observing I know that I need to be content with what I observe about myself. The best I can hope for is that someone wonderful will stop and peek in on me and help me understand the things I see when I peek in on others.
A lullaby fades, and my child’s breathing grows sonorous – my cue to leave. I’m thankful to have had the wonderful chance to peek into the room. I am hopeful that there will be many more.
This article is an updated/edited version of a submission that was first published in the Alberta Teachers' Association News, November 25, 1997.
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Kids finish some well know statements
About once per year I try to do the following activity with grade two or three students. The premise is to have the students attempt to finish some well known cliches, adages and maxims. Here are a few of the gems from some students at MILLET SCHOOL, the K-4 school at which I teach. Please note where possible the kids writings were quoted verbatim.
A miss is as good as …a mister.
Its always quietest before …an answer
You can’t have your cake…until you clean your room.
Don’t bite the hand that…talks.
It’s always quietest before…loudness.
A bird in the hand…hurts.
Spare the rod and spoil the …fish.
To many cooks…lots of food.
Don't cross the bridge until…the three billy goats cross.
You can’t have your cake … before school.
Spare the rod and spoil the …dinner.
You have nothing to fear…but girls.
It’s always darkest before …noon.
You have nothing to fear…but boys.
The squeaky wheel gets…taken off.
It’s always quietest before…you go to bed.
Never underestimate the power of…God.
A bird in the hand…is a pet.
Don’t bite the hand that…I rit with.
When the cat’s away…the dog’s away.
The squeaky wheel gets…a squeaky oil.
Spare the rod and spoil the…fun.
It’s always quietest before …you go to school.
When the cat’s away …it always comes back.
There’s no fool like…school.
The early bird gets … up in the morning and sings.
When the cat’s away…don’t feel sad.
When the going gets tough…try to stop it.
A stitch in time…is good to do.
The early bird gets…up in the skin.
It’s always quietest before…the 8th.
A bird in the hand…is speshli.
When the cat’s away…you cry.
It’s always quietest before…the dog wakes up.
When the cat’s away…you have to pay.
It’s always quietest before…Mr. Gibson gets here (for Physical Education class).
When the cat’s away…I do nothing.
When the cat’s away…pray.
A bird in the hand …av a person he will get poop.
There’s no fool like…Mr. Bean.
A miss is as good as …the wind.
You can’t have your cake…if you Be misruble.
Spare the rod and spoil the …tire
Too many cooks…can make plouchen.’
There’s no fool like …frankinstine.
Never underestimate the power of …dark side.
Too many cooks…cen mak you sick.
When the cat’s away…we party.
When the going gets tough…I run away.
Never underestimate the power of…a woman. (a male respondent)
The early bird gets…you hoppin.
It’s always quietest before…a funeral.
When the going gets tough…just stop and take a break.
You have nothing to fear…we’re here.
When the cat’s away…it has babys.
The early bird gets…up to sing.
Spare the rod and spoil the…bate.
It’s always quietest before…testing.
A bird in the hand…bites.
The early bird gets…babies.
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6:21 a.m. Alarm goes off. Volume control by my two-year old. Roll over and punch snooze button.
6:30 a.m. Alarm goes off. Roll over and punch snooze button.
6:39 a.m. Alarm goes off. Spouse rolls over and punches me.
6:42 a.m. Attempt to shave with a razor my spouse used the night before.
6:52 a.m. Unable to stop bleeding and unable to get shower temperature right.
6:58 a.m. Breakfast on the run. Hope the jam stains on my shirt won't be noticed (or the the blood stains on my collar).
7:10 a.m. Begin scraping car windshield.
7:13 a.m. Give up scraping. Drive to school in Hunchback of Notre Dame position peeking through tiny hole in frosted windshield.
7:30 a.m. First cup of coffee. This one and one more, and that'll be it for the day. Next cup will be decaf.
8:20 a.m. Outside supervision! Twelve years of grade school, five years of post-secondary training to act as a World Wrestling Federation referee in -19C weather (-37C with the windchill).
8:35 a.m. First class. Students enquire about breakfast stains on my shirt. Evolves naturally into an art lesson ("Teacher, it sorta looks like a butterfly.") and a social studies lesson ("Teacher it sort looks like the spots on Gorbachev's head.").
9:28 a.m. Class change. Walk into wrong classroom. At least the students enjoyed my error.
10:07 a.m. Recess. Cup of coffee. (Darn it! I should have had the decaf.)
10:53 a.m. Crisis management. Realize that I forgot my lunch again.
11:21 a.m. Cup of coffee. Needed an eye-opener after that last class. The next one will be decaf.
11:51 a.m. Lunch meeting. Power lunch. Lunch with the bunch - it's just me and 26 hungry kids.
12:50 p.m. Afternoon classes begin. Timetable preempted by a visit from "Al the Molar and the Talking Teeth". Won't get to the lesson that got postponed when "Gordie the Gopher and the Prairie Preservation Society" visited last week.
2:53 p.m. Cup of coffee. Should've chosen decaf. Definitely the last one.
3:30 p.m. Dismissal. Almost...
3:31 p.m. Crisis management. One student - missed bus, one student - lost coat, one student - lost book, one teacher - lost mind.
3:39 p.m. Time to reflect and evaluate the day's teaching. Six lessons taught. One great lesson. Two mediocre lessons. Three lessons...UGHH! Words of a favorite university prof come to mind: "If you have one very good lesson out of six you have probably done a good job of teaching."
3:45 p.m. Try to show some restraint. Pour only a half cup of coffee.
4:15 p.m. Wrap up today, start planning for tomorrow.
5:08 p.m. Crisis management. Arrive home. Flop into easy chair in front of TV, unable to cope with challenge of deciding what to have for supper.
5:31 p.m. Still trying to decide what to have for supper.
7:02 p.m. Finally cleaned up after supper. (decided on leftovers)
7:23 p.m. Dessert is one pail of chocolate swirl ice-cream, one spoon and 26 social studies exams.
11:38 p.m. Flick off TV. Turn off lights. Begin another restless night. Might be the coffee. Might be the stress of thinking about tomorrow, but I can't wait for it. With all the foibles and follies...I LOVE TEACHING!
(This article reappears after being submitted to the Alberta Teachers Association The ATA News in February 1992)
Kevin
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You got to know when to hold ‘em...
There are many decisions to be made within each teaching day. Some are easy, some not so easy. I’m sure you can all relate to the challenge of deciding whether or not to go to school on days when you are under the weather. It can be difficult to decide whether to call in sick, or march on with the days duties.
I know that the decision often comes down to the problem of the time and effort it takes to ensure your day is well planned for a substitute teacher. Your thoughts may be, "If I am going to put the time into the lesson plans then I might as well go to school and teach for the day."
Like Kenny Rogers said in his popular song from the days of yore, "You’ve got to know when to hold em. Know when to fold em." The message here is one of prevention. Rather than trying to hold on through another day of cold or flu or worse, take a preventative approach and "know when to fold ‘em" in favor of a day of recuperation.
The recent SARS scare, while far more severe than just being under the weather, was an excellent reminder of just how rife we are with all sorts of easily shared microbes that can be the source of illness. I’m not suggesting that you quarantine yourself just because of a mild case of the sniffles. What I am urging is that when you are truly ill, take a day for your personal wellness, so that you have as speedy recovery as possible. You’ll also be doing those around you a favor by minimizing the contact of your little biological pathogens with colleagues and students (although, the good Lord knows they willingly share them with you). I hope that your contractual agreement with your employer is as supportive as possible when you are in need of sick days.
Treat your wellness, like you would a poker hand. If one day soon, you find yourself dealt into a bad hand, that has you waffling over whether to bluff and carry on, or to get out before things get worse, don’t bluff. "Know when to fold ‘em."
K
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Taking breaks and staying well through the school year.
It's Easter Break in my school division and the break couldn't have come at a better time. I know that my colleagues and I can use the break for some much needed rest and relaxation.
It always amazes me at how deeply ensconced we become in our teacher's world, with our daily, weekly and monthly focus on helping kids. There is no question that the process can wear us down.
I have a good friend who played pro football for a number of years, and he equated the season long process of physical and mental challenge to a staircase. He told me that a player needs to start the season at the top of the staircase, with good health and a very sharp mental outlook. However, after training camp, and with each passing week of game action, a player's body only recovers to a portion of the original pre-season level. Each week most players slip a little lower on the wellness staircase. The players who make the greatest effort to prepare (start at the highest possible step on the staircase), do the best job of taking care of themselves each week (to ensure that they move down as few stairs as possible), and are fortunate (avoiding injury and undue stress) are the ones best prepared to meet the late season and playoff challenges.
It may be a slight overstatement to compare the physical rigors of teaching with the collisions of pro football, but there are similarities. Teachers should strive to begin their school year in the best state of wellness, knowing that some of the challenges that lay ahead, such as long hours of marking, completing report cards, and ensuring informative and positive parent-teacher interviews, can and will erode their wellness if they allow it. Teachers need to take time on a daily or weekly basis to do activities that support their personal wellness. There also needs to be breaks within the school year to refresh and rejuvenate, not just for the teachers, but for the kids and their parents as well. That way the school year can can end with everyone being a champion.
No matter when your breaks are, take time to enjoy them and make your wellness a high priority.
(: Kevin :)