Sinner

Whale in the tub!
I think,
Staring down past man tits
Over swelling belly
To flaccid cock drifting
In fat ripples and bubbles,
Fat thighs rise from foam
Islands of white cellulite
Capped by knees rarely seen.

And I realize
I do not care, self esteem
Has long since shriveled;
Wasted away and decayed,
Psyche empty and devoid
Of any faint desire to be
The perfect man, any man;
Undesired by women
Mocked by men
I am fat. Weak. Alone.
Fated to die as I have lived;
Feel it slice deep,
Cutting liver, spleen, higher to
Heart, long since gone to stone,
Empty of hope it strikes for home
And finds no soul, only loneliness.

In the dark listening to life
Despair rises as always.
Tomorrow I shall smile
And tomorrow night relive tonight.
April 23, 2002


My Doom

I rose to walk the dark and cloudy morn
Doom, doom, doom squeaked my reluctant shoes on
Frozen snow, fresh snow, old grinding hard snow.
Doom, doom, doom moaned my old hesitant shoes
Leading me to the far sullen hilltop.

Standing on top of town cold, singular
The dark frigid wind howled for my doom.
The town lights flickered dispensing no warmth
On scudding gray underbellies of clouds
And distant stars mocked with silent pity
A warmth unfelt by my stark silhouette.
Their cold light spoke my now desired doom:
Though love finds you
None shall you find.

Shivering, the startled deer fled,
My dread stopped heart did feast
And beat my doom to fears tattoo,
Nervous laughter follows the beast
Through scrub brush and dark while
I return home in downhearted defeat.

If only my heart were made of
Ice and stone, or hard steel
Sealed to all want and real faith
Immune to loves sweet feel.
But even ice melts, stone shatters
And time does etch solid steel.
The cold emptiness of vast space
Is warmed by the light of stars into hope.

Dawn arrived clothed in glory
And I, blind, saw gray.
Soft beautiful day ,
And I, bereft, saw only pain.
Fulfilling my vile doom with tear damp cheeks
I followed my day into emptiness.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


We build cages

We build cages out of fears
And the remnants of dead dreams;
Husks of hopes litter the landscape
Before the flickering light of love.
Safe within our walls of fantasy;
Stretch arms for release, open
Hearts cry for respite and rescue.

If I were a fair maid tower locked
I would know hope of rescue.
Grow my hair; learn the art of sleep,
Beauty held enduring for eternity
By the spell of innocence.
Some day the knight arrives,
But who rescues the knight?

Chasing the world in search of an empty promise
Glory lies within the world of excess and violence;
Hate and anger raise banners of power
And he dreams of maids tower locked.
The righteous seek God, and the pure beauty
The strong gain power, and the weak bow,
Greed gains a kingdom, and lust loses another,
While wisdom wanders the world seeking
The love of innocence and truth.

Trapped within bars of denial and self deception
Knight and lady circle the keep, unseeing
Their hope exists in leaving the tale
The lady must rescue her own life
And the knight must find hope within
But truth obscures reality
And the tale continues, unbroken.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


I Spent Today

I spent today wrapped in lonely yesterday,
Old fears played with ancient moldering dreams,
Raising memories of defeats, silent
Victory, unsung, advances and retreats
Soon forgotten by wisest of men, though
Fools beg to wallow in mire, reliving
Past deeds and defeats, finding faint pleasure
In remembering distant fears long past.

I spent today wrapped in my tomorrow,
Cradled tight in hope and brightest of dreams,
Living in fantasy worlds of castles,
Black knights and fairy queens, magic dragons
Battle wizards of might for the sole right
To rest their head upon the soft lap of
My lovely bright lady of moonlight night.

I spent today wrapped in love with today,
Walked the cheerful sunlight and smiled,
Felt the pine kissed breeze caress my cheek
Listened to the song of celebration
In the promise of a returning spring,
Rejoicing to have hope come back again
I forgot to languish in yesterday
Or linger in the fear of tomorrow.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Romance

The blood red rose rests on white satin sheets,
Fire light flickers on empty wine glasses,
Soft moonshine spots two swans with crossed necks,
Spring's first flower folded in her soft hair,
Lovers walk wet neath the warm summers rain,
Frosted fall morning, hot coffee in bed,
Cuddle in eider, winter's storm raging,
Romance changes the austere and dreary
Giving life to love, and strength to desire.
Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Stroll Softly

Stroll softly midst the path
That guides my heart to you;
Let not the worldly wrath
Distract, though dark the view.
Thorns give way to beauty,
Round another sharp bend
Resides love and duty.
From there my heart defends
The gates of innocence
With spears of loves desire.
Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


The Measure of Sound

Come dance in the moonlight with me
Stroll down sun shadowed streets
Amongst the screams of innocence.
Guilt lives within the suites.

Insanity rules barren halls,
Lost the empty wander
Searching forgotten memories,
Stop in vain to ponder.

Alone again tonight, the cry;
Loom precipice, devour
Emptiness with darkened yearning
Filling the silent hour.

From the rut celebrate the change
See the fresh made again
Old dreams, old hopes, forever new
Held within Lethe's mute reign.

Seeking perfection in the quiet
Moment, losing pleasure
In the golden silent echo.
The sound without measure.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Pacing Again

Pacing again
Slow hours tick
Step, step, step, falter.
Thoughts race the hour.
Within my boundaries
Four walls and one door
Pacing the rut deep
Around and back around again
Pace, pace, pace, pause.
Composing verse, worrying the future
Studying the past, waiting.
Pacing the hour fast
Hurry the seconds with variety
Slow step, two step, fast stride, skip.
Pacing again.
Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Spring's Promise

The teasing false spring, winters mocking hiatus,
Tempts buds to growth, smiles to bloom on upturned faces;
Untold wealth garnered in car wash emporiums.
Splash! The puddle emptied by an exuberant
Child set free from winters bounds of parka and toque,
While yesterdays snowman slumps in dormant despair.
Too early yet for spring we cheer winters demise.
No more cold and dark days ahead; false hope
For springs arrival remains months in the future;
Life celebrates the false glory of springs' winter.
Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Another Holiday

Candle light flickers on white satin flesh
Gleaming in the moons dark, the scent of love
Fills the air while two bodies tightly mesh;
Music soothes, a sensual satin glove.

Dream the distant reality into being;
Touch not forgotten by times cruel passage;
Nerves relive the fine fingers lingering,
The remembrance of more than love's message.

Heart shaped chocolates and a rose for one,
Half empty bottle of wine, broken glass,
Heart stained tears dripping break the myth of fun,
Praying another holiday will pass.

Despite yearning, worry, desire, and fear;
I hear your hearts call from so very near.
Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Cold

Cold
Ice cold.
Bitter cold.
Sharp, painful cold.
Forty below and snow will scream
Protesting compaction with ire.
The perfect day to sleep and dream
Snuggled tight near a roaring fire.
The frosted window exposes life
Passing in slow frozen motion.
Solid sunlight keen as a knife
Gasping breath, a painful caution
Awaken to life's frailty.
Forty below, deadly beauty.
Hard brittle cold.
Painful cold.
Pure cold.
Cold.
Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Bright Shines Her Love

Naked she lays to view the dawn,
Feel the light caress skin.
No interest in male might or brawn,
This morn bright shines her love.

Silken stretch, eyes close, smile and yawn
She invites the light in.
Ignoring birds song drifting oer the lawn,
This morn bright shines her love.

Limbs curled tight, sharp claws withdrawn,
The light seeps deep within
Dreaming of robins long foregone,
This morn bright shines her love.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Sleep Gentle Beauty

Sleep gentle beauty, dream of loves sweet kiss, 
Held close in Eros' warm embrace find trust. 
Grip tight the arms of love, feel the deep bliss,
Accept the risk, our hearts desire pure lust. 
 
Wake shyly hearing my voice echo true, 
Beyond touch and sight beckon distant shores;
Torn by words of hope and longing subdued, 
Whispered across the gulf the sigh restores.
 
So far yet further yet we walk the road, 
No distance too far to find your sweet plight.
Reach for my ardent need, desire bestowed
Let the love of two make us one tonight.
 
   Should you ask for more than hope in might be, 
   Cast your eyes on faith and see love set free. 

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


The Poets Muse

I asked my muse one question,

She pointed to the ice bound
Frozen white winter desolation
"See the arid desert heat
Rise in shimmering waves
Embrace the cool oasis
Easing life's sun baked thirst."

Again a finger pulled the eye
Old wrinkled, infirm she walked
"See the youthful beauty, heart breaker
A million odes declared her glory
Though only one claimed her love
Long dead he now walks in her heart.

Blind arrogance shakes the head smiling
For a poet speaks only to hide
Take the obvious and make it obscure.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


The Poets Eulogy

The poets death went unmarked except by silence,
Empty words written in new fallen snow,
Not a single tear did drop for silences return,
Life continues unmarred by the songs loss,
Revered by death and time through the eons
A once fool speaks words of wisdom and love.

Today's poet wears the uniform of mourning and arrogance,
Foretelling their own end in ignorance and bliss;
Many write in words of today, but few write beyond time
Though only time and fortune will determine today's wisdom.

With no desire for fame, fortune or fickle history's pride,
Words flow,following the weird compulsive obsession
Writing loves mystery down before the tide of life returns;
Returning to silence, another unmarked death.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Today's Need

I need her flesh, her spirit, her mind
Pressed tight to my hope her brightness,
Soft murmurs in the nights dark
Rising above the eve's ebon soft silence.

I need her smile, her words, her presence
Against the deep press of today's stress,
She is comfort for the day's trials,
Adding strength, walking the path at my side.

Smile again for me
Lift my heart from the bleakness;
Laugh and light my world,
Whisper my name and call my heart home.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2002


Debbie's Song

She sparkles in the moonlight bright,
Pure spectral white, unmarred metal
Butch purrs content, with Debbie at the wheel.
Miles fly by as Heart sister cruises highways
Seeking elusive peace, generous heart ever hurt.
I asked for more friends and found
More indeed, sweet gentle sister
My proud sister, wolf dancer
Wolf dreamer, hippy and peace lover
My forever sister, my cyber sister
My hearts sister, Debbie.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Dancing Light

I watched the northern lights dance
The cold music moved my thoughts
We share a moment and warmth
Open jackets ease the arms touch
Feet crunch glaciated snow
Two hearts dance the lights
Down into your smiling eyes.

Tangled in time the sleepers smile
Sharing the warmth of loves release;
Aurora Borealis, the magic of light
Dreams love into existence;
Whistle the spirits down to play
Wake the joy of love for the day.

Winters cold lies deep on the earth
In eyes of beauty I see tropical heat
Melting into such depth no ice exists,
Come dance the lights down
Wake the glory in my eyes
To dance to your wonder.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


The Hug

Today God hugged me tight.
I looked to see His love;
The sun warmed my flesh without judging
A gentle breeze stirred my hair
Nature surrounded me with beauty.
I was squeezed tight
By a sisters hug and tears
See, there He was in love,
A friends kind words,
A lovers smile and sensual touch,
The dogs kiss, the cats purr,
Everywhere I looked, God
Hugged me tight in His love.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Melody

Pull me through sounds
Melody's of love and passion
Weaving between flesh and voices
Whispers counterpoint caresses
Waking hearts to passionate longing

Words follow the music
Stirring the body to movement
One becomes many linking one
Waking tears and smiles
The heart speaks to the heart
Melody of simplicity
Melody of love
Speaking the unspoken
Soothing the pain
My melody
My words
My love

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Forever lasts only for today

Forever lasts only for today
Today lasts only forever
Newly met the long, lifelong friend
Smiles, the greeting of acceptance
Without judgment or ridicule, no rejection
Lies behind the eyes of kindness and love.

The line lies blurred by winds
Winds of change, time, and words
Words redraw the undefined limits
A friendship that defies definition
Hope crosses the line to find hope
Reaching back, searching for the ineffable
To express the hearts desire;
Searching for meaning in confusion
The line shifts and blurs to joys tears.

Walking hand in hand
Sharing the now of forever
Sunrise, sunset, frost softened silhouettes
Pace today's path into tomorrow.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Sing to me softly

Sing to me softly as our lips
Meet in gentle passion
Whisper my hands past hips
I dream of a love out of fashion.
Lingering looks, long gentle talks
Strolls down quiet wooded walks.

Past sealed lips, the silent sigh
Rising passion wakes the symphony's cry
Tongue teases the softness of inner thigh
Desire and lust compete for satiation
Denying the momentary easy release
Eyes lock, the smile sinks to sensation
Deep throaty moans cry now, please!

The waxing moon rises on the empty bower,
Snow fills the hidden grotto, innocent white.
The cave lies empty of candle and flower.
Lonely wandering in search of sight;
Open, the heart seeks new love
While old pain fades into the new night;
Pale and unseen flutters the seeking dove,
Hope flies free fleeing the evil tower.

The song reaches for crescendo in pleasure
The aria closes to soft tears and laughter
The greatest wealth hides in unburied treasure
As the phoenix of love rises anew.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Wonder rises with each new day

Wonder rises with each new day
Did I really, becomes I did
Breaking all the rules, destroying
Self-imposed shackles and bells
Hear the unspoken laughter fade
Striding past rejections fear
Braving the possibility of failure
I open my heart to love
Pain may be my reward
Or love,
Open I walk, no dread or hurt
To sully the beauty I see
Teal, clear, acrylic sunsets
Promising a better tomorrow, yet
Today is filled with awe, love,
Glory, the unbidden wakes to praise
I bow before the magnificence
Speak with humility of the splendor
Created for the open eyes alone
We all stare at the same sky, seeing
Glory or horror, beauty or death
The falling star blazes the heavens
One wish rises above all others
May I be surrounded by love.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Alphabetical Banality

Among Andoverians anger arises
Battling Behemoths begin brutality
Caution cries the centurion
Denying delusions of dark death
Expecting eagerness, eschewing the ethereal
Faeries fly from faith finding folly
Gorgeous girls glide to glory
Home and hearth the hope of heath
Inside, intrigue interests the ingénue
Joining the just and jaded
Killing kindness the king knifes the knight
Looking longingly at the last of lust
Making money manufacturing madness
Newborn novelty needs necessity
Often overtly and openly ostentatious
Politicians pander to the poor
Questioning the queens quandary
Raising reason to rant and rage
Stirring sleepless sinners to sloth
Turning time and tides to Troy
Uneven uncertainties create ubiquitous urges
Washing wasted wishes with Weeping
Xanthippe the xenophobic
Youth yet yearns for yesterday
Zaftig zombies zone on zeal

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Friends Forever

A friend dries tears with a smile
Returns hope to the heart with a word
Shares pain, returning joy with no guile
Laughs at the silly jokes no other would
Hears magic in the soft spoken hello
Dreads the long delayed goodnight.

Would you share your secrets safely
Bear your soul, naked and vulnerable?
Trust offered in innocence and honesty
Returns wrapped in commitment and faith
Warmth rises from mutual love and trust
The true friend, the lesson of life
Support, confidante, shoulder, constant hope
Friendship, existences' true magic
The gift returns tenfold, with love.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Closing my eyes

Closing my eyes, I draw the warmth of love close;

The giggling child sits naked
Clothes puddled around the smile
Smelling of Sunday's cooking and love.

What is love I asked looking deep

While best friend picked up my heart
Shattered and broken, to mend and heal;

What is love I asked, blind

Huddled and shivering in summers shelter
The rich man ignores peers sneers conferring
Hope to one lost in despair and defeat;

What is love I cried in pain

While the priest offers comfort easing
The unknown dying man into death;

What is love I whispered

Mother sings the crying child
Easing the memory of horror back to
Sleep, dreaming of warmth and peace;

What is love I wondered, lost

While mother and daughter share the day
Best friends, confidants and pals;

What is love I asked looking out

Past inner veil to reality and devotion
Seeing what is, not the desire
Naked still the child giggles at life.

Opening my eyes I let the warmth of love hold me tight.

Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Tree

Bent crooked, worn indomitable
Old testament to storms and sun
Scraggly unkempt half gone
Striving to reach a distant sun
Innocence long since lost
Bear clawed, squirrel hoarded, ant gnawed
The final sentinel of the dead
Guards the memory of youth;

Dwarfed by majesty and might
The child remembers mans first sight
Awed by greed and lust the beauty
Passed beneath feet unseen
The first screams of death
Progress claims the refuge

Though not yet middle aged
The final tree despairs of hope
Standing alone, the final reminder
One tree, one forest, one end.
Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


Rebirth

The new risen sun kisses the trees tips
To melt last nights frost with ruby lips
Warming the heart and waking the day to dreams
Pain fades like mist into yesterday
Naked the trees await the coming winter
And remember the fall.

The ghost of love walks on All Hallows Eve
Searching for hope and renewal
Beneath headstone and crypt only cold
Death holds sway in this necropolis

Love leaves in search of more
For more there is than cold silence
Hearing life's laughter and joy
Love touches the soul and becomes
Flesh and blood once more.

The moment exists only in now
Pain gives rise to healing peace
Accept reality and embrace today
Revelling in new found freedom
The leaf races to glory.
Copyright @M.Lingrell2001


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