Dear Family & Friends,

February has started today and with it we have an excited Jeremy as his Birthday will be this month (22nd). He is making all kinds of plans for his birthday party already. Yes, he is way ahead of mom & dad as we have not yet thought of organizing a party. We do feel however that just as other years we need to do this as the other kids are just as important as our new sweet baby. Good thing it is still 3 weeks away and we can start worrying about that later while in the mean time we encourage Jeremy to be excited about his coming Birthday Party.

Today started out a little different then usual and turned out even more different then planned. Lodewyk needed to take the car in for a much needed oil change and was going to be back to pick me up to go to the hospital around 10 AM. Well as it turned out the car had a bad leak in the water pump so a repair was in order. So an anxious mom had to wait until 12 at home to be picked up to go to the hospital. When we arrived we were pleasantly surprised to find a friend already there and cuddling Lorena for us. I did feel bad for not being there so long today but we still spend 9 hours at the hospital. So far most other days we have spend between 10 to 12 hours there per day.

We were worried with the doctors about yesterdays weight loss and so our first question was did she gain weight today. We were thankful to hear that she gained 25 grams and the doctor was really pleased about this too. she told me that the first thing she asked about when she came is was if Lorena gained weight, I guess that tells something of her concern for the weight loss. The fortified feeds every 2 hours has helped her to gain weight again. She did spit up part of some of the feeds again and once all came out. Also she was not able to finish every bottle now that it was more fortified so the left over's were fed through the NG tube again. The doctor came in around 6 PM and told us that now it is necessary to get her to feed 50 ml every 3 hours just through the night as she can not go home if she needs to be fed every 2 hours. She feels this is not possible for parents to keep up. So a lot depends on how well she will do with these over night 3 hour feeds the coming nights and if she continues to gain weight. Please pray with us that this will go well for her. If it does not then they are going to put her on continues feeds through the night with a pump. The reason for this all is that they want to make Lorena ready to be able to go home. To be ready to go home she has to be gaining enough weight at least a few days in a row and she has to be able to feed every 3 hours through the night as the doctor says parents can not feed every 2 hours through the night, it would wear them out. That is why option number 2 becomes continues feeds at night with a pump while we do 2 hour feeds during the day. Off course we want her so much to feed bottles through the night with only the left over's fed through NG tube rather then a pump doing this for her all night. So depending on how well she does over the next 2 days, we may be coming home next week. However I have already understood that we will be under close watch of all kinds of doctors (surgeon, cardiologist, dieticians, doctors etc.) and we would have all kinds of appointments to keep with her. Her weight and how she feeds etc. will also be closely monitored. We love the idea of being able to go home with Lorena but it also frightens us a bit to know that no medical care will be within hands reach for her anymore. We also know that it will be so busy once we need to care for her by our selves day and night as she demands a lot more care then healthy babies would. We are not putting our hopes so high yet and are not so sure yet that she will come home next week.

For now the oxygen also still needs to stay on because the cardiologist said that it would take more energy for her to breath on her own and that would cause her to loose more weight. We still need to speak to him about her heart as to whether she will needs an operation in the future or if those holes in her heart may grow closed on their own. They also still need to continue to monitor the way the blood needs to pump through the heart. We also need to speak to the plastic surgeon again about her foot. It looks like it is healing on its own and hopefully she will not need a skin graft as this would add an other wound to her. Her lung is an other question as the TPN that leaked into her foot also leaked behind her lung when it collapsed. It is not yet known if she has some bad scar tissue on her lung as a result of that. The epidural site has healed nicely but a little indent/scar remains just above her little bum. Lorena has gone through more in just 1 week of life then most of us have gone through in a life time and she still has a lot of recovering to do. Right now the main concern still being the feedings and the weight gain while her wound continue to heal. The baby with a similar condition, who we seen released from the hospital last week was back today as an infection occured. So babies are being released but may return for some more care again.

Today the Dietician came in to tell us how we need to mix her feeds when we go home. From this all indications seem to be, to try to get Lorena's feeding and weight gain stable enough to let us go home with her. However we know it will not be before mid week next week and then only if things go really well. We really are not going to count on it as our main concern is to have her well enough before we do get her home. So far each day the feedings have changed so quickly and just when we think we found something that seems to work a little better everything gets changed again. Now we pray that she will take the 3 hour feeds of 50 ml through the night.

We have lived (days & evenings) at the children's hospital for 15 days now and if it was not for the circumstances we would actually enjoy this place. As it is built so big and nice and as Jeremy said "it feels & looks like we have a hotel room" a hotel room with a beautiful view. But believe me this is no vacation!!! We are thankful for these nice facilities however and are also thankful for the nice heated parking attached to the building. Especially with those recent cold days this was a treat. We bought a month pass for this parking space and that works well. The hospital is about a 20 minute drive from us so that is not so bad considering how big Calgary is.

Both Janita & Jeremy came to the hospital with nice report cards today and the parent teacher interviews are coming up in the next week. It is amazing how well they both have adjusted to the circumstances and how well they have dealt with it all. We are trying to take some extra time to sit and cuddle with them as well as they so need the extra attention too now.

Now as a wife I have noticed that my focus has been so much on our kids and very little time has been left to focus on my husband. Knowing that he reads these updates before he sends them to people he works with, I want to publicly thank my wonderful husband for being an awesome husband and father. Through all of it he has been my shoulder to cry on, we have wept together and rejoiced together when things went better. We have prayed together, held our baby's hands together. He has encouraged me, he tried so hard to give me the best recovery time possible. He has cared for me so well and served me many breakfasts in bed, for ever bringing me drinks to keep the breast milk coming. He is taking care of the bigger kids on his own most of the time and really well too. He is right in there taking care of baby Lorena too. After 15 years of marriage and having gone through this together I feel so blessed that you Lodewyk have been at my side every step of the way. Thank you!

Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Feel free to visit us in the hospital but only if you have no colds or flues and please call before you come.

Love Lodewyk, Rena, Janita, Jeremy & Lorena