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Dear family & Friends,

March 3, 2008

But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 19:14

This verse was of great comfort to me when we had our miscarriage about 12 years ago. It was very hard to loose this unborn child at 11 weeks into my pregnancy. We never got to see what this child looked like, never got to hold this little one. Was this baby a boy or a girl? We will not know for sure but, just like with Lorena, I have always had a strong feeling that it was a girl. I don't like referring to this baby as "the miscarriage" so I called this child 'baby August" as that was the month we lost this baby. I struggled with this loss but came to be at peace with the Lords decision when I read this verse and knew God spoke to me through this and gave me the trust & comfort to know that this little one is with the Lord........"for of such is the kingdom of heaven". One day in glory we hope to see this child.

With all we went through with Lorena, thinking we would loose her. It was an other struggle within. The question that troubled me was, am I willing to give her up if that is the Lords will. I had to be honest with myself and knew I could not. I kept holding on to hope and was not willing to give her up. I was finally at peace when I realized that as long as she was alive it was okay to hope for her recovery and not being willing to let go of her as I knew within that what ever the Lord chose to do with her, that when the time came, I would be willing to do what the Lord required of us. He did not require of me to give her up as long as there was still hope. Then a great peace came over me as we put her little life into Jesus loving hands and I knew He would take care of her what ever the outcome would be....."for of such is the kingdom of heaven". Still each day we thank our Lord that he allowed us to take care of Lorena and that she is still with us.

I especially remind myself how blessed we are to have her when I tend to get a little frustrated every now and then because there seems to be so little time left in a day to do other things that are not related to Lorena's care. Saturday for instance out of the 20 hours I was up taking care of Lorena there was only a total of 3 hours to do other things. It seems this last week that she wants to be held a lot more. I am not sure if this is because of what she went through in the hospital or because I get to nurse her so little yet. Some bottle feeds take an hour to get down especially now that I have been nursing her a little more, she almost seems frustrated to have to drink from the bottle. Yet, she needs to drink from the bottle still as we fortify the breast milk so that she will grow enough. Then I need to pump every 3 hours and I try to nurse her little bits more often. Washing all the bottles for storing the breast milk as well as mixing the milk and feeding her, seems like something that would not take a lot of time but we do spend close to 2 hours a day washing the bottles and pumping supplies etc. You can well imagine that there is not much time left of each 3 hour stretch after feeding, pumping, nursing & washing supplies. Still we have much to be thankful for as she is taking all her bottles, even if some do take a long time to feed, and she is not spitting up much. Just every now and then she has a big spit up. Yesterday Janita was holding her facing herself when she spit out most of the bottle all over Janita, what a mess.

I seem to have trouble remembering to drink enough so I am glad Lodewyk is reminding me all the time. I need to keep drinking to get that breast milk coming. We are also thankful that I have enough breast milk to supply Lorena with now. We also decided to purchase a hospital quality breast pump today as the rental pump we currently have costs $100.00 per month to rent and we think I still need it for at least 4 more months so it made more sense to spend $480.00 to purchase a pump as we may be able to sell it later again and get some of that investment back. These pumps were no were to be found so we purchased it from ebay. We had the same problem trying to find a bottle warmer for glass bottles and so ebay came to the rescue for that purchase too. now the waiting remains for those to arrive in the mail.

Last Thursday my sister went back to Ontario and we miss her and the help she had been giving us. Now we are back on our own but Lodewyk started his parental leave on Monday. Still he has obligations to his work and will need to work a few hours per week as was the agreement. As it turned out for his 1st day of parental leave he worked 5 hours. Hopefully he will not have to put in so many hours each day. It is so nice to have his help as Lorena is more then a full time job and then there are the other kids and other things that still need doing. Together we are bussy full time to keep things running smoothly in this little family.

On Friday Jeremy woke up with a bad cold, a deep dry cough. This is a big cause for worry as Lorena can not afford to get a cold. So we decided to quarentine Jeremy to his bedroom. We felt bad for doing this but we could not take a chance and as it turned out we felt much worse then Jeremy felt as he was having a blast playing some computer games and we heard him laughing all the way down stairs. So we would go for visits with him in his room and gave him room service for breakfast, lunch & supper. It was also a great opportunity for him to build his science project, a pyramid, from little foam blocks. We were glad he did not mind and we are thankful that this far neither Lorena or anyone else in the family got this cold yet. Please pray that Lorena will not get this cold that Jeremy has as we so much want to keep her out of the hospital.

March 4, 2008

Today we had to go for an other appointment at the children's hospital. This is for an ultra sound for Lorena's tail bone. Because she has a little dimple above the crack of her bum the doctors concern was that her tailbone may not be fully developed yet. Lorena was participating nicely again and even fell asleep during this ultrasound of her spinal cord. To bad they would not discuss what they seen at all and we have to wait for those results until next weeks appointment with the doctor.

Lorena continues to grow well but the last days is making a fuss for drinking some of her bottles. So today I decided to substitute some of her bottles with nursing her instead. She did excellent but the question is will she still keep gaining enough weight if I do this a few times a day. I want to continue this and see on Thursday when she gets weighed again by the homecare nurse if she is still gaining enough. Doctors orders are nice but then she is not the one who is trying to feed Lorena. Today she cried and screamed with the bottle in her mouth and then I gave up and tried to nurse her and she was happy to nurse for over 20 minutes. Hopefully she still continues to gain weight and I can start nursing her more and more.

Jeremy is over his worst cold now and we have him stay down stairs again but still at a distance from Lorena. As soon as he is better he can make uo for it and hold Lorena lots again.

Time seems to slip away each day and I am still working on making the birth announcement to send to people who live abroad. We are joking some times that if we wait any longer that we can announce her 1st birthday at the same time. Hopefully I can get them all done and out by the end of this week or else next week sometime.

I am now sending out the updates, no more then once a week as I seem to have less and less time available. I am also not sure if people are getting bored with these updates or if they are still enjoying them??????????????

Love Lodewyk, Rena, Janita, Jeremy & Lorena


	Lorena's Spinal Cord Ultrasound
	March 4, 2008 Dear family & Friends, March 3, 2008 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 19:14 This verse was of great comfort to me when we had our miscarriage about 12 years ago. It was very hard to loose this unborn child at 11 weeks into my pregnancy. We never got to see what this child looked like, never got to hold this little one. Was this baby a boy or a girl? We will not know for sure but, just like with Lorena, I have always had a strong feeling that it was a girl. I don't like referring to this baby as "the miscarriage" so I called this child 'baby August" as that was the month we lost this baby. I struggled with this loss but came to be at peace with the Lords decision when I read this verse and knew God spoke to me through this and gave me the trust & comfort to know that this little one is with the Lord........"for of such is the kingdom of heaven". One day in glory we hope to see this child. With all we went through with Lorena, thinking we would loose her. It was an other struggle within. The question that troubled me was, am I willing to give her up if that is the Lords will. I had to be honest with myself and knew I could not. I kept holding on to hope and was not willing to give her up. I was finally at peace when I realized that as long as she was alive it was okay to hope for her recovery and not being willing to let go of her as I knew within that what ever the Lord chose to do with her, that when the time came, I would be willing to do what the Lord required of us. He did not require of me to give her up as long as there was still hope. Then a great peace came over me as we put her little life into Jesus loving hands and I knew He would take care of her what ever the outcome would be....."for of such is the kingdom of heaven". Still each day we thank our Lord that he allowed us to take care of Lorena and that she is still with us. I especially remind myself how blessed we are to have her when I tend to get a little frustrated every now and then because there seems to be so little time left in a day to do other things that are not related to Lorena's care. Saturday for instance out of the 20 hours I was up taking care of Lorena there was only a total of 3 hours to do other things. It seems this last week that she wants to be held a lot more. I am not sure if this is because of what she went through in the hospital or because I get to nurse her so little yet. Some bottle feeds take an hour to get down especially now that I have been nursing her a little more, she almost seems frustrated to have to drink from the bottle. Yet, she needs to drink from the bottle still as we fortify the breast milk so that she will grow enough. Then I need to pump every 3 hours and I try to nurse her little bits more often. Washing all the bottles for storing the breast milk as well as mixing the milk and feeding her, seems like something that would not take a lot of time but we do spend close to 2 hours a day washing the bottles and pumping supplies etc. You can well imagine that there is not much time left of each 3 hour stretch after feeding, pumping, nursing & washing supplies. Still we have much to be thankful for as she is taking all her bottles, even if some do take a long time to feed, and she is not spitting up much. Just every now and then she has a big spit up. Yesterday Janita was holding her facing herself when she spit out most of the bottle all over Janita, what a mess. I seem to have trouble remembering to drink enough so I am glad Lodewyk is reminding me all the time. I need to keep drinking to get that breast milk coming. We are also thankful that I have enough breast milk to supply Lorena with now. We also decided to purchase a hospital quality breast pump today as the rental pump we currently have costs $100.00 per month to rent and we think I still need it for at least 4 more months so it made more sense to spend $480.00 to purchase a pump as we may be able to sell it later again and get some of that investment back. These pumps were no were to be found so we purchased it from ebay. We had the same problem trying to find a bottle warmer for glass bottles and so ebay came to the rescue for that purchase too. now the waiting remains for those to arrive in the mail. Last Thursday my sister went back to Ontario and we miss her and the help she had been giving us. Now we are back on our own but Lodewyk started his parental leave on Monday. Still he has obligations to his work and will need to work a few hours per week as was the agreement. As it turned out for his 1st day of parental leave he worked 5 hours. Hopefully he will not have to put in so many hours each day. It is so nice to have his help as Lorena is more then a full time job and then there are the other kids and other things that still need doing. Together we are bussy full time to keep things running smoothly in this little family. On Friday Jeremy woke up with a bad cold, a deep dry cough. This is a big cause for worry as Lorena can not afford to get a cold. So we decided to quarentine Jeremy to his bedroom. We felt bad for doing this but we could not take a chance and as it turned out we felt much worse then Jeremy felt as he was having a blast playing some computer games and we heard him laughing all the way down stairs. So we would go for visits with him in his room and gave him room service for breakfast, lunch & supper. It was also a great opportunity for him to build his science project, a pyramid, from little foam blocks. We were glad he did not mind and we are thankful that this far neither Lorena or anyone else in the family got this cold yet. Please pray that Lorena will not get this cold that Jeremy has as we so much want to keep her out of the hospital. March 4, 2008 Today we had to go for an other appointment at the children's hospital. This is for an ultra sound for Lorena's tail bone. Because she has a little dimple above the crack of her bum the doctors concern was that her tailbone may not be fully developed yet. Lorena was participating nicely again and even fell asleep during this ultrasound of her spinal cord. To bad they would not discuss what they seen at all and we have to wait for those results until next weeks appointment with the doctor. Lorena continues to grow well but the last days is making a fuss for drinking some of her bottles. So today I decided to substitute some of her bottles with nursing her instead. She did excellent but the question is will she still keep gaining enough weight if I do this a few times a day. I want to continue this and see on Thursday when she gets weighed again by the homecare nurse if she is still gaining enough. Doctors orders are nice but then she is not the one who is trying to feed Lorena. Today she cried and screamed with the bottle in her mouth and then I gave up and tried to nurse her and she was happy to nurse for over 20 minutes. Hopefully she still continues to gain weight and I can start nursing her more and more. Jeremy is over his worst cold now and we have him stay down stairs again but still at a distance from Lorena. As soon as he is better he can make uo for it and hold Lorena lots again. Time seems to slip away each day and I am still working on making the birth announcement to send to people who live abroad. We are joking some times that if we wait any longer that we can announce her 1st birthday at the same time. Hopefully I can get them all done and out by the end of this week or else next week sometime. I am now sending out the updates, no more then once a week as I seem to have less and less time available. I am also not sure if people are getting bored with these updates or if they are still enjoying them?????????????? Love Lodewyk, Rena, Janita, Jeremy & Lorena Such a happy baby! Lorena responds so well to us with smiles and baby talk. The first family picture with all 5 of us. My favorite hobby: sleeping! Pucker up and get ready for a sweet little baby kiss. Lorena's leg is healing so well. We don't have to dress it any more but have a duaderm sticker on it which helps to heal the skin. Think about Lorena and keep drinking that juice in order to get enough milk. This glass has that built in reminder who I have to drink for. Time for a big stretch again. What do you do when they stick an arm in your face? Suck on it of course. Ready for that bath. This is pretty comfy on moms arm. Hold me, I am rolling off this thing!!! Lorena getting an ultrasound of her tailbone & spinal cord. Lorena being a sweetheart. Falling asleep during the ultrasound. Lorena's full head of hair. Lorena after the ultrasound was done. Ready to go home mom & dad!