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  Thanks

  Norm

It is September 2002 and the leaves have started to fall.

What an odd thing to be able to say ‘goodbye’ to the most important person in my whole life.  So many people never get the chance, so I decided I would take this chance.  I wanted to write you a beautiful poem to show you how beautiful you are to me, but I couldn’t make the words rhyme.  A colorful picture might have been a nice way to show you how much you have inspired me in my life, but this did not seem to be the time to paint.  I would end up trying to clean up after Teegan and Tobyn who really can’t watch me paint without throwing their whole selves into the project!!!

In this letter I want to say a simple ‘thank you’.  I have learned with the birth of my two children that a mother cares for her children with an unconditional love.  I guess this is why the passing of a mother is very difficult for most children.  I know that you know how I feel about you, and how thankful I am for the life you have given me.  Although much of this does not have to be said, I decided to take this chance to say it again.  I have been telling Tobyn, that you cannot thank someone too many times.

I am thanking you not for material gifts, rather I am thanking you for the many gifts you gave me by just being the mother you were.

I want to thank you for giving me ‘compassion’ for people and animals.  You would close the curtains when a bird hit the window.  You would cry with me when we found a home for a stray dog or a kitten we found in a nest in the compost.

Thank you for giving me strength to stand up for my beliefs.  I remember as I grew up how letter writing was important.  Let people know how you feel, and what could be done differently to improve the situation for others.  I do not really remember who you would write, but I remember you as being politically astute, rather then passive.  In the 1960’s you would joke about ‘burning the bra’ claiming women should have the same rights as men.

You and Dad were big supporters of the anti second-hand smoke campaign.  Selling little battery operated fans to sit on the table at a restaurant when 80% of the population smoked.  This strength to stand up for what you believe has taught me that I can make a difference.

Thank you for teaching me how to listen.  You made me feel safe to share difficult times with you.  I hope I will listen to my children as well as you listened to me.

I thank you for helping me understand that it isn’t winning, but it is how you play the game, in sport as well as in life.  Remember when you would coach baseball to the kids who did not make the community team.  You decided they should have a coach and decided to coach them yourself.  Everyone should have the opportunity to play, you said.

I thank you also for the fun times we shared.  I remember one hot June afternoon, I came home from school and you were playing Christmas carols and hanging mistletoe.  I suspect you were waiting for dad to come home!  If I had a day off school you would take me with you to deliver Meals on wheels.  You did this for 25 years.  We would take the food in to people and chat and enjoy them.  Afterwards we would treat ourselves to a Dairy Queen hamburger and a milkshake, as we were so hungry from smelling the great soup.  Thanks for teaching me that health and fitness is a foundation to a happy life.  I have had a great role model, as I know you try to work out everyday and continue even while you are feeling poorly.  I will never forget all of the great skiing and hiking we did as a family.  We spent lots of time in the mountains.  We all continue to enjoy the outdoors.

I thank you for teaching me to put the person ahead of the clothes.  In this day and age, this lesson is more important then ever, and I strive to teach my children the same thing.  You always advocated for proper footwear, so your feet would stay healthy, and not to fight wrinkles or the eminent gray hair.  There is so much to do and many better ways of spending your time, rather than focusing on yourself.

I thank you for being open minded about the fact that this world is made up of millions of different people.  I believe your travels all around the world developed an awareness that helped you to understand differences of cultures and people.  In your biography to your nursing friends you said, “Bailey’s lifestyle is difficult to understand but easy to accept”.  As we understand more about people they often are easy to accept.

Finally, thank you for believing in me.  With all of your belief in me, came my belief in myself. I learned I can make a difference.  I hope I will be able to pass this legacy on to my children as successfully as you have been with your four children who all love you for who you are.

• I will miss you saying “Hello sunshine” when I phone.  What a good feeling that would give me!
• I will miss the little newspaper clippings and information you like to share with me to better my life.
• I will miss just being able to come and talk to you.  You always made me feel like the most important person and made me feel so loved and liked.
• I will miss watching you walk around with price tags on your new clothes, sometimes for a year.
• I will miss jellied salads that we would eat the next day, because they were forgotten in the fridge.
• I will miss your Cranberry Jelly and Mint Chutney.
• I will miss the constant support I always feel when I talk to you.
• I will miss big Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinners at your home.
• I will miss just calling to hear your voice and to know that you are there for me.
• I will miss having a ‘critical reader’ for all of my written material.

Mostly, I will just miss YOU!

I will love you forever,

Bailey